Getting to Happy : My First Challenge of the Year

     I've never tried so hard to keep a new year's resolution until now. Losing weight, breaking bad habits, starting better ones... none of those seem more important than just getting to happy. Now, three months into the new year, there have been times when I could have easily just got over this resolution, just like I have all the others in the past. This year is different though, and so far this year, there nothing was more challenging than walking away from someone I love for the sake of happiness.

     If you've read my post "Holding On...and Letting Go", then you know I have an issue with letting go. For one, I am sentimental by nature. I save anything which holds sentimental value. Not necessarily holding on to the past, but perhaps my personal memorial to the days of old. Call it what you like, at the end of the day, I'm a sap! This sap is also a fighter. It's also part of the reason I haven't walked away from so many people and things. In a way, it feels like I'm giving up, and I'm no quitter! Yet still, as we all know, or eventually learn, some of the smartest battles are won when

Why He Should Care About Her Biological Clock

Father Time and Mother Nature Pause For A Moment Of Silent Reflection

There seems to be a common idea among many men out there that they cannot build a serious relationship, get married, or have children until they are "ready". While I agree with this idea, it is my opinion that there are different levels of readiness. No one can really say exactly how much time it takes a man (or woman) to be ready for any of these particular life events. But often times, men equate readiness with financial stability, and a measured level of anxiety that comes (or doesn’t come) about, when any of these topics are brought up. Though I can appreciate a need for financial security, and the absence of anxiety, having it all does not have to be mutually exclusive. Let me explain.

The Modern Day Proverb 31 Woman

  DOES SHE EXIST?   

 

    This question was brought up by one of the members of a forum I participate in (s/o to Beautiful Minds!). If you're not familiar with what a "Proverb 31 Woman" is, you can look it up here. However, one of the members of the forum described the Modern Day Proverb 31 Woman as follows:

Holding On...and Letting Go

     I’ve never been any good at letting go. One reason is due to my sentimentality. I still have birthday cards from my 1st birthday (I’m 31). I still have my 1st doll (she smells and looks good as new) and I still have some roses (now dried) that I got for my 16th birthday from a crush at the time. So yes, I’m a big sap!  However, the other reason I’m not big on letting go is from fear that something better may not come along or that I might need it someday, only to be disappointed when I remember that I got rid of it. Hence all the extra clothes and shoes in my closet...and even perhaps the extra people in my life. I think that often times, there are many reasons why people hold on to things, people,  and relationships that have long since ended or outlived their shelf-life. But like my mom always says, “...in life, there is a time for everything”; including a time to let go.

Ode to My Enabler

 

       In my opinion, everyone should have what I like to call an "enabler."  I think my enabler is probably the best thing that's happened to me (when he serves in this capacity).  In fact, now that I think about it, I've been lucky to have two in my lifetime ( okay, so maybe luck had nothing to do with it). 

Remembering My Dad

       I really don't need a holiday to remember my dad. There isn't a day that goes by, that his memory doesn't find its way into my thoughts...and I'm so happy for the memories.

       For as far back as I could recall, he's always been my favorite person, and I, his. This was always apparent when you observed the instant glow on our faces when we were together. I didn't know it then, but in retrospect, he was my best friend. Sometimes I wish I would have realized it sooner, but I hope that he knew. I think he did. From the time I could talk, to the last time I spoke to him, I've always told him just what was on my mind. I can't imagine what a 4 year old could say for hours on end, but he always listened with an attentive ear and a welcoming smile.

       Even when he scolded me, it was done with love, patience and understanding. I was never fearful of getting yelled at, or of getting in any type of major trouble with him. Nevertheless, I never wanted to disappoint him.

From A Distance

       I've known him for many years...kind of. I've never actually met him in person, but I'd like to think that we've developed a pretty good friendship through the years. We've gone from sharing stories of love and love gone awry; to personal trials and victories. I think at one time there might have been a physical attraction, but that was all set aside over time, and eventually grew into fondness and much respect.

       I still can't shake the fact that though I am always very happy to hear that his love life is going well, I can't help but to feel some type of way about it! Don't get me wrong, this is not a case of "fatal attraction" or anything close. I think it's more like admiration from afar mixed in with a little "I may have just lost my friend."  I always get a tug in the heart (the kind u get when u find out your ex is with someone new) when he tells me of the new belle in his life. I never show anything less than happiness and excitement, because it is genuinely how I feel.

Why We’ll Never Be More Than Friends

       Connected almost instantly, conversation always flowing, lots of laughter, never a dull moment, complete understanding and utter respect; all components of a great romantic relationship, but also great components of a friendship meant to last.
 

       We’ve gotten to know each other really well. We often have similar thoughts, and pretty much know what the other is doing most of the time. It was like being in an undefined relationship. We both started out thinking it wouldn’t be more than a “good time”. But life took us for a loop, and the end result is a friendship unparalleled. We tell each other just about everything. We trust each other almost implicitly. There’s never any judgment passed, no matter what. Even when we argue, neither of us can stay angry at the other for too long, and the problem at hand is quickly resolved as we laugh through it. Not to mention that we are physically attracted to each other; which makes this all the more perplexing and quite difficult. So why can’t we ever be more than friends?

The End Of An Era and Afternoons As I Know Them

Guest Post By: Melissa B. (@Melis_B on Twitter)

       If you’d have told me thirty years ago that my soap operas, “All My Children” and “One Life To Live” would be cancelled during my lifetime, I would have slapped you in a manner fashioned by the iconic Erica Kane. You can imagine my dismay and devastation when ABC Daytime announced, on April 14, that both AMC and OLTL would be cancelled in September and January, respectively. The shows were created over forty years ago by Agnes Nixon. Come 2012, not only is Oprah off the air but two of my  ABC serial dramas are gone as well! What is one to do?

Narrowing Down the List

       As a single woman I’m often asked, “Well, what type of man are you looking for?”  I think the implication is that I must be single because I’m looking for too much and my expectations are too high, or people assume that something is wrong  with me.

       I remember a few years ago my sister and I were on this kick where we were writing down everything we wanted in life and wishing it into future existence.  During one of our write-a-wish sessions, we each decided to come up with 100 things we wanted in a man. 

My Dream Deferred

    When Langston Hughes asked “What happens to a dream deferred?” I’m quite sure he wasn’t speaking about my dream specifically. But I find that time has such an effect on how a dream may “...dry up like a raisin in the sun...”

      Almost a decade and a half ago, I was obsessing over the man I truly believed I would love and be in love with for the rest of my life.

When What You Get Is Not Quite What You Asked For

       So, you’ve been praying...asking for divine intervention. “Please, send me my prince charming” or “please, send me the woman of my dreams!” Then, suddenly, you meet someone. However, as you size them up, you think to yourself, “I know I asked for ‘the one’, but are you sure this is it?!!”

       I met this new guy, and at first we just stared at each other without uttering a word. I used to see him a couple days a week on my commute home, and there was no real interaction; just stolen glances, but no words.